I Want My 2 Dollars!

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Merrill Lynch whores itself to Bank of America for $50 billion. Lehman Bros. scrambles to look for a buyer like a bad ebay auction and AIG writes a big fat “I OWE U” to the Federal Reserve for about $430 billion pesos. Oh, and the Dow plunged 504 points.

In local news, Craig still owes me $2 bucks!

Obama is WRONG!!!

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Days after Obama’s controversial lipstick comment, people of America - Republican, Democratic, Independent and Mexican - have had time to take a step back and dissect the jab aimed at Sarah Palin with more logic than emotion. And the general consensus says, “Obama is wrong!”

“… you know you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig…”

Wrong Mr. Obama!

You put lipstick on a pig, that pig becomes gay. If not gay, than crazy... Buffalo Bill crazy! I think you owe us an apology sir!

Swiss Beats, Son!

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Not to be confused by the American producer/rapper, but Switzerland’s own Roger Federer continues to prove that he is the world's greatest tennis player as he crushed the 21-year old Scottish hopeful, Andy Murray, in straight sets at the US Open Finals in Flushing, New York.

After dismantling the newly ranked #1 Nadal the night before, Murray would seem to be the favorite going into today’s championship match with a win over Federer earlier this year in Dubai. But Federer would prevail against the doubts and like a father to a stepson, he proceeded to beat the shit out of him in convincing form, claiming the US Open title for the 5th time straight.

In addition to his record book accomplishments, Federer is in fact, getting that Oprah money, banking 1.5 million dollars plus a Lexus IS-F for his feats achieved. All of which is his to stack since he has no coach to pay or any pesky 4 second samples to clear. Next stop – Australian Open - #14!

Republicans Go Hollywood

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Announced yesterday, Sarah Palin has given the green light to play the Republican Vice Presidential Nomination this year.

Sure to be this Fall’s most talked about role in Prime-Time since the return of Christian Slater to Hollywood, expect to see Daddy Yankee make a splash guest appearance adding “gasolina” to the fire!

Me Llamo Chad?

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Undergoing change is a big thing in anyone’s life. It’s hard to swallow. What’s even more difficult is coming to grips with the transformation and living with it. 72 hours later after Chad Johnson’s name-redecoration to Chad "Ocho Cinco,” we can’t help but ask, “Why not this name…”

1. Chad Jonsyn – It’s hip, it’s fresh. It’s even spelled in a new rapper-like way!

2. The Chad – Adding “The” in front of any Proper Noun crowns it legendary. For example: THE Godfather, THE Thong Song, Nobody Beats "THE Wiz!" All timeless classics.

3. Rod Tidwell – Arguably THE best WR in Football history to bear #85 on his espalda. Jerry Maguire & Reebok will back that statement any day.

and last by not least...

4. Gay – (Please see image above)

Wii Got Jungle Fever

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For the past couple of years now, Paul and Lindsay Pape have been designing chocolate Mii replicas for $19.95 a piece. Though successfully uniting nerds with chocolate, I have yet to see a “seasoned” chocolate Mii.

Isn’t it a bit weird that the idea to market a product inspired by Asian technology does not accommodate to the typical Asian man or woman? I understand that Asian is the new Black, but a 4-year old would still color us in yellow.

At least they are accommodating to interracial relationships.

See for yourself at http://paulpapedesigns.com/Mii_Chocolate.html

SUPPLIES!!!!

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As the International Olympic Committee (OIC) continues its investigation over the underage discrepancy of the Women’s Chinese Gymnastic Team, the “as-for-now” gold-winning gymnists are treated to their surprise 14th birthday for the third time again on January 1st.

He Kexin, Yang Yilin and Jiang Yuyan enjoy a double celebration of vanilla flavored Mao cake and the gold while Li Shanshan takes her mid-day nap.

Joey Biden Will Punch You In the Face

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Joe Biden accepting the Democratic VP candidacy creates the strongest colored tandem to date since Stockton & Malone, Wilder & Pryor, and Jackson & McCartney… let’s just hope they don’t break up over a silly record collection and a girl. We saw how you kissed Jill Biden... Barry – you smooth son-of-a-bitch, you!

But what does Joe Biden bring to the table? Is it his experience in foreign policy issues? What about the fact that he comes from a family of Blue-Collar workers like you and me? Or how about his pure gulliness of not being afraid to bloody the next man’s nose, Daniel LaRusso style?

It's none of the above. So what is so special about this Joe Biden fellow?

His teeth.

Joe Biden’s teeth is like having Robert Horry on your team when you’re down by 2 with 3 seconds left on the clock in Game 7. Joe Biden’s smile can cure Global Warming. Rainbows begin in Joe Biden's mouth. If Joe Biden rang my doorbell and smiled, I’d buy 10 vacuum cleaners from him.

Bottom line - Joe Biden’s teeth can win over any Republican or redneck country bumpkin. This and this alone, is why Biden & Obama make a dynamic duo.

OHHHH-lympics

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With the Olympic craze crowding everyone’s TiVo, let’s take a moment to really recognize the Contests of Champions. Not the obvious Champions such as the Ninja-like Chinese gymnastic squad, but an actual Contest that doesn't get enough burn on NBC, CNBC or the beloved Telemundo Channel.

Trampoline
At first thought, synchronized circle-jerking would seem to be more of an acceptable sport, but after Youtubing a few Trampoline events, it does seem to require strength, agility and John Woo-like directing with the assistance of a big ass trampoline.

But seriously, does anyone brag about training for this alleged sport? Is this even water cooler-talk worthy? “Hey, did you hear Mike is the best Trampoliner in the world?” It’s more impressive beating your boss in a chin-up contest. The last memorable trampoline performance was by Tom Hanks in “Big” leaping to great heights to “Forget Me Nots,” and Alice from the Brady Bunch, when Bobby fell out of Greg’s kick-ass tree house. Who judges this competition anyway? Not to completely shine the spotlight on Trampolining, but Equestrian is a bit questionable. How does riding a trained horse gain human accolades?

Well, congratulations to Team China for claiming gold in Trampoline (no surprise). And a splendid job to Karen Cockburn of Canada, for finishing strong with the Silver medal. No USA placement here. It's all about the Canadian Cockburn!




Massive Shouts go out to Chelsea Hammond repping Jamaica in the Long Jump… “NO LINGA, MO' FIYA, BULLET!" and some more abrassive Jamaican chants.

Let the Blogs Begin

Tweet Popping the blog-cherry, we wanted to start on the right foot and take blogging to another level here at Stockboy Entertainment.

We’ve studied our weaknesses and tested our strengths and to no surprise our lackings easily trumped or bragging rights. We are not "in-the-know" in Hollywood, or contain insider stock trading tips. Most importantly we cannot predict the future like those ingenius Magic 8-Balls.

With that said, we intend to enlist a team of superpowers to boast our popularity from "Virgin Nerd" to "Zack Morris" status. Without further ado, may I introduce to you our first draft pick to be a potential sponsor for Stockboy Entertainment...

Mr. Carlos Ray Norris aka Ground Chuck aka Mister Kick You in the Face for a Quarter... Chuck Mutherphuckin' Norris.



We are the Barry Warry that Chuck Norris will lead to glory.