Another Earth

First, let me start off by saying that this is the prettiest you'll ever see Brit Marling in this film because for the next hour and thirty, life pretty much punches her square in the brain and steals her mirror. Secondly, this is not a sci-fi film by any means. Earth 2 is visible right from the start, but just sits there, looking down at us like we're having a damn staring contest. In fact, Earth 2 is a dick (you'll realize this within the first 10 minutes).

William Mapother known to play the creepy culprit on most TV police dramas still plays a creep but with reason as he stars opposite of Brit M. Just a reminder, this is an indie flick, which means you can expect it not to have a happy ending. Not saying it's a Requiem For a Dream, but let's just say Adele's "Someone Like You" could play throughout the whole film.

IMDB: 7.0
STOCKBOY: You can afford to take bathroom breaks, send a few texts and check your email


Real Talk

We're coming back god dammit


Happy Endings Pilot: C-

Really should have gotten a D+, but we'll give this a 65 for Elisha Cuthbert's sake. Based on the wallet photo, it's pretty much a couples/friend show no matter how you pitch it. Why so harsh? The mere fact the show seems forced from 'eh' flashbacks to stretched out jokes. I'm being real petty on this one, but name me one black guy you know named "Brad". Surprisingly, I know a "Chad" but he's a dick.

Other notes worth mentioning: Damon Wayans Jr. was underused then again, I'm only familiar with his family's work and Casey Wilson may be the only reason to watch this with volume. If the season is gonna be like the pilot, plenty is to fear. But with it following Modern Family in the schedule, it should birth 10-12 episodes its lone season.

But hey, my opinion only counts if you like old episodes of Saved By The Bell without Tori, laughing at that Bevery Hills 90210 episode when David Silver's weirdo friend shoots himself and Animaniacs.

4 months later

So there's been a struggle to figure out what direction this blog should take - poke fun of random news, celebrities, entertainment, sports, govt - you know the same shit you can read in the ONION or a MAD magazine. So the reimaging of this site will eventually fall into something worthwhile and not the round of the mill witty rhetoric about bologna. Another sentence should close out this thought, but I deleted like 4 possible conclusions.... in that case, see you soon with the relaunch post...


2011 - Another Disappointing Year Without Flying Cars and Mexican US Presidents

Hey Gang! Happy New Year to all even to the Jews, Chinese and others that have separate New Year dates but still partake in the USA festivities. So it's been more than half a year and some change since my last post (it was an "eh" post but considering it had something to do with Kelly Kapowski, I'll consider it shoulder-shrug worthy). Typically, days that surround the New Year have an air of reinvigoration which lasts as long as fried chicken leftovers. And if you're black, that really isn't long at all. (Race note: by skin tone and general description, Indians and Italians may be deemed to have, using certain adjectives (one specifically),black skin based on sun intake and other generic elements.) But I have every intention to keep this up not because it's the right thing to do or because it's a social responsibility, but because I have no real reason not to update it. Plus, I felt it was time for me to stop being a D-bag (dickbag) and put my God given talents to work. Now I know what you're thinking - "Yeah right! He'll update it everyday for a week then forget again!" To your answer that I suggested for you, and please take no offense, but - "Fuck You!" but I say it with love and no offense (remember).
So without further ado, let the horrible Microsoft Paint altered photos commence.

PS: if you shook your head at any misspellings - then Fuck You, it's a blogpost and please take offense.

Hugs & Kisses


Say It Isn't So Kelly Kapowski

We knew this day would come. In the back of our minds, we always thought her and Zack were really dating. Speculation emerged around AC, college boy Jeff, Pauly Shore, then the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 Peach-Pit edition. But there's finally proof that Bayside's very own Kelly Kapowski is not a virgin and in fact, pregnant and delivered. By whom, you ask? Brady Smith. You may know him as "Handsome Man" on the show MY EX LIFE or "Cheating Boyfriend" on ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE. Thanks for kicking my childhood dreams in the face.


Million Dollar Chokehold

It's alright James Cameron, you already paid half for that divorce. You're entitled to at least one chokehold.


I'll French You Up.

In case there was ever a situation where Guatemalans were rising among the ranks for the race pedestal, leave it to the Frenchman to remind all minorities that "We got next! And in case, you didn't think we mean business... I'm stealing your ball!"


Farewell Winter Olympics

For those of you that didn't catch the complete closing ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics, it sorta ends like this....

Snooze Fest

The son of Tegucigalpa's Mayor Ricardo Alvarez dreams of ways he can use his new elite status during his father's swearing-in ceremony. First on the list - mandatory white suit and clip-on tie naptime.