With the Olympic craze crowding everyone’s TiVo, let’s take a moment to really recognize the Contests of Champions. Not the obvious Champions such as the Ninja-like Chinese gymnastic squad, but an actual Contest that doesn't get enough burn on NBC, CNBC or the beloved Telemundo Channel.
Trampoline
At first thought, synchronized circle-jerking would seem to be more of an acceptable sport, but after Youtubing a few Trampoline events, it does seem to require strength, agility and John Woo-like directing with the assistance of a big ass trampoline.
But seriously, does anyone brag about training for this alleged sport? Is this even water cooler-talk worthy? “Hey, did you hear Mike is the best Trampoliner in the world?” It’s more impressive beating your boss in a chin-up contest. The last memorable trampoline performance was by Tom Hanks in “Big” leaping to great heights to “Forget Me Nots,” and Alice from the Brady Bunch, when Bobby fell out of Greg’s kick-ass tree house. Who judges this competition anyway? Not to completely shine the spotlight on Trampolining, but Equestrian is a bit questionable. How does riding a trained horse gain human accolades?
Well, congratulations to Team China for claiming gold in Trampoline (no surprise). And a splendid job to Karen Cockburn of Canada, for finishing strong with the Silver medal. No USA placement here. It's all about the Canadian Cockburn!
Massive Shouts go out to Chelsea Hammond repping Jamaica in the Long Jump… “NO LINGA, MO' FIYA, BULLET!" and some more abrassive Jamaican chants.
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