2011 - Another Disappointing Year Without Flying Cars and Mexican US Presidents

Tweet Hey Gang! Happy New Year to all even to the Jews, Chinese and others that have separate New Year dates but still partake in the USA festivities. So it's been more than half a year and some change since my last post (it was an "eh" post but considering it had something to do with Kelly Kapowski, I'll consider it shoulder-shrug worthy). Typically, days that surround the New Year have an air of reinvigoration which lasts as long as fried chicken leftovers. And if you're black, that really isn't long at all. (Race note: by skin tone and general description, Indians and Italians may be deemed to have, using certain adjectives (one specifically),black skin based on sun intake and other generic elements.) But I have every intention to keep this up not because it's the right thing to do or because it's a social responsibility, but because I have no real reason not to update it. Plus, I felt it was time for me to stop being a D-bag (dickbag) and put my God given talents to work. Now I know what you're thinking - "Yeah right! He'll update it everyday for a week then forget again!" To your answer that I suggested for you, and please take no offense, but - "Fuck You!" but I say it with love and no offense (remember).
So without further ado, let the horrible Microsoft Paint altered photos commence.

PS: if you shook your head at any misspellings - then Fuck You, it's a blogpost and please take offense.

Hugs & Kisses

Say It Isn't So Kelly Kapowski

Tweet We knew this day would come. In the back of our minds, we always thought her and Zack were really dating. Speculation emerged around AC, college boy Jeff, Pauly Shore, then the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 Peach-Pit edition. But there's finally proof that Bayside's very own Kelly Kapowski is not a virgin and in fact, pregnant and delivered. By whom, you ask? Brady Smith. You may know him as "Handsome Man" on the show MY EX LIFE or "Cheating Boyfriend" on ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE. Thanks for kicking my childhood dreams in the face.

Million Dollar Chokehold

Tweet It's alright James Cameron, you already paid half for that divorce. You're entitled to at least one chokehold.

I'll French You Up.

Tweet In case there was ever a situation where Guatemalans were rising among the ranks for the race pedestal, leave it to the Frenchman to remind all minorities that "We got next! And in case, you didn't think we mean business... I'm stealing your ball!"

Farewell Winter Olympics

Tweet For those of you that didn't catch the complete closing ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics, it sorta ends like this....

Snooze Fest

Tweet The son of Tegucigalpa's Mayor Ricardo Alvarez dreams of ways he can use his new elite status during his father's swearing-in ceremony. First on the list - mandatory white suit and clip-on tie naptime.

I Need Rubbers

Tweet What took about six years to complete, the world's biggest rubber band ball will be inducted into a Ripley's Believe it or Not museum. Believe it or not, this guy will regret the past six years of his life.

Cock Me!

Tweet The expensive turbans are front row for tonight's Afghanistan's Ultimate Supercockfight. Hold on to your sandals, this match is gonna be a bombthreat!

It's So Real!

Tweet Talks to enrich uranium were delayed between the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and UN nuclear heads because word was passed down that Avatar was a must-see.

Nap Time

Tweet In a period where employment is scarce, sleeping on the job is a slap to the Human Resource Department that hired you. There's only one explanation for this poorly timed nap - he must be Mexican.